THREE OLIVES

 I've been sober since March of 2007. I was out with my writer friend Harold Holt trying to find some Polish liquor. I had hoped to get Harold to an actual Polish store. Right when we were ready to leave, we saw this bottle of whatever Three Olives is, with the catchy Elvis photo. I didn't care to look at it anymore, just two weeks later. My pain. The plague. My dog still dead. So I broke the bottle and now it is in a landfill.

THE CUBS ARE NOT THE BOYS OF OCTOBER THIS YEAR

ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

Yes. I worked with an Elvis impersonator. Somehow, I ended up with one of the jumpsuits that had been at a dry cleaners. And that indeed is me wearing it on my 40th birthday-9/9/9-and Robert Petitt wearing it even earlier, a a World Horror Convention in Nashville in 1991.

The other pieces are from the late and lamented Weekly World News. My favorite conspiracy coincidence is this. In his later years, the concert opened with "Also Spake Zarathustra", the theme from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. Elvis died on August 16th, 1977. Add it up.

8+16+1977=2001.

AFTER NINE YEARS, THE ELVIS TRADING CARDS ARE GONE!

Had these since before my Auntie Emma died in 2012, that's her in the photo next to me and an Elvis impersonator on my 40th birthday, 9/9/99. Somehow I had gotten on the topic of Elvis with Roger Trexler about Elvis and he said he'd want the binder. I kept two cards, one from HARUM SCARUM! where he looks like a member of ISIS. Another where he wears a cool jacket from SPEEDWAY. I still had room in the box, so he got an old guide I had on werewolf movies, and a glass that has a squid on it, some other doo-dads that weren't worth taking photos of, and that little package I found at a seedy gas station. ead the ingredients. Caterpillar Fungus. SWAG in the SWAG bag.

WEARING MY TIE LIKE TRUMP IN THE 90s

See? I can mention Trump in my heading without including serial killer names like Dean Corll, John Wayne Gacy, ed Bundy, or Elmer Wayne Henley. Dig the Elvis tie. Let's Make Graceland Great Again.

THE SHROUD OF ELVIS, MY BLANKET AT MANY CONVENTIONS

Should be posting my photos from Arcana tomorrow, thanks T Mobile you suck!

In the meantime, I've been wanting to show my fans what Peggy Nadramia gifted me sometime around 1988. Since people often piled into hotel rooms at cons to keep it cheap, but we'd be short on blankets, Peggy bought me my own blanket. In which Elvis had an oddly shaped erection and was holding onto it. But okay, it kept me warm on many a night. Still does, in the winter, when the moon burns full and bright.

And for fun, you can even hold it up and then stick the lips into your mouth and then the face would make you look all creepy like it did with Clutch Cargo or Space Angel (see left) who used Lip-O-Vision or something like that. My dog does seem to like it when anyone goes to kiss him like that.

So, yeah. There's saliva from at least a dozen people on this thing.