MY OLDEST NIECE USED TO THINK I LOOKED LIKE COLIN MOCHRIE

 

TAGS AND BADGES DEALING WITH RABIES

Multiply the rabies bill by 6.

 

THINGS YOU SEE WHEN YOUR UBER IS AT A STOP LIGHT

 Near 95th & Pulaski. Soon to be Oak Lawn Commons, whatever that mean. It reminds me of Kent State.Anyhow. For years this huge area was dead zone. Super Kmart, Chuck E. Cheese, a bank, a restaurant, the oddly named Dress Barn. These guys probably had trouble on 95th and pulled into the still deserted lot. I don't think this could have ended well.

INCIDENT IN STREATOR, SEEN ON GOOGLE EARTH

 

THREE OLIVES

 I've been sober since March of 2007. I was out with my writer friend Harold Holt trying to find some Polish liquor. I had hoped to get Harold to an actual Polish store. Right when we were ready to leave, we saw this bottle of whatever Three Olives is, with the catchy Elvis photo. I didn't care to look at it anymore, just two weeks later. My pain. The plague. My dog still dead. So I broke the bottle and now it is in a landfill.

5/3 a year later