RETURN TO SENDER

Nobody knows where the previous owners of this house moved, only that it was "out somewhere" in Indiana. Their daughter turned five, they were going to home-school her, and we all know what that means. I got mail for years that were worthless, anything that seemed important I'd write Return To Sender, but most of the time the envelope would come right back.

This thing came in the mail awhile back. Haven't opened it yet, actually forgot about it. If there's anything exciting inside, I'll be sure to do a follow-up post. But yes, Randy Bates, Office of The President thinks that I want a Bible more than anything! And sent to Kenya!

And then, for the first time ever, I received a mailing from the Pacific Garden Mission, a shelter that used to be on State Street until gentrification and man these guys want to me donate $156.00 in order to feed 50 people on Thanksgiving. Not sure if I'm their target mailing, as I think I'm having Jimmy Dean Meat Lovers breakfast on that day.

I do find it humorous that my middle name is omitted. Even my thrice-weekly POS mailings from Xfinity have Wayne Allen Sallee on the glossy card.